the reason behind all the anxious-ness, uneasy, nervous feeling i've been having has shown. i wanna start this post frm the very beginning. woke up today anxious to check my results. the night before, i ald had a funny feeling in me. but refused to acknowledge it. i still prepared myself for the worst aniwaes. grab a cup of luke warm water and switched on my computer. i cant help but feel my body panicking. but to my suprise, when i log in into my acc on the ITE portal, i see "Business Studies (event mgt). my reaction was... "that's it?", "i got in?". that's reallie not wat i expected. i couldn't believe my eyes. rub it a little. is this reallie happening? i was happy. i thank god. i tot to myself that today is gonna be a fine day for me. watched Hamtaro, ate breakfast. tried logging in again to the ITE portal to find out how to go about accepting the offer. to my horror. my earlier assumption that i wont get in the course came true. there it was on my computer screen. "All choices of your application are NOT SUCCESSFUL." i was confused. my mind was in chaos ! called my brudder, he didnt make me feel better at all. but he did calm down and call me again asking me to give ITE a call to check on my application. i did the necessary. the lady confirmed that my eyes wasn't playing any tricks on me. it was true. it was there smack right on my face. "All choices of your application are NOT SUCCESSFUL."
"All choices of your application are NOT SUCCESSFUL." "All choices of your application are NOT SUCCESSFUL." "All choices of your application are NOT SUCCESSFUL." "All choices of your application are NOT SUCCESSFUL." i cried. but there's no point dwelling on it. it wont change anything. so i reapply. refusing to give in. same course, Event mgt. there's no way! watsoever im going to any engineering course or watever that's not my interest. i will just waste my precious time. i didnt dare tell my mum the truth. she will turn frm my mummy to this ugly, evil lecturer frm MUMS INC. and that's the last thing i wanna hear right now. a lecture. it will make me feel rotten/useless/hopeless and everything bad. i've done it again. letting my family down. sometimes i wonder if i will ever make it in life. it scare the living crapp out of me. so... for now/again, all i can do is wait helplessly for the results. pls wish me luck. i think i'll nid ALL the luck i can get. congrats to frens who have gotten into their courses of interest. so long.
truly,madly,deeply_'
5:29 AM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
hey ya'll. i've been feeling nuthing but nervous and also anxious this few days. regarding the school posting and some other reasons. i keep wondering if i did it right... and my mind has lot's of what if... what if... about the Zoo's attachment, its still a huge blow for me. its like as if it just happened yesterday. i dont think that i could handle myself well if anything big happens to me again. i would blame myself for all this. i reallie have to take care of myself well now, if i want to face the challenges in future with everything that i got. i really hope that things will go well... i really do. Keep my fingers X.
truly,madly,deeply_'
7:57 AM
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
i read a new book and i finished the new book. which is Silver Is For Secrets! ahh. its getting more intense. u noe. reading a book is so much powerful than watching a movie. the power of imagination is just godly. btw the book is a killer. i cried at the very last part when Jacob [Narrator's Boyfriend] died. its so tragic! omg. i cant wait to read the last sequel to the series of books [Red Is For Rememberence]. okie. that's it abt books. yesterday, my bro bought for me a pair of new shoe !! wee ! thanks so much brudder. you rock ! today is my bestie Joey birthday ! Joey Jie Jie!! hahha. i would like to wish her Happy Birthday. i treasure our friendship alot. hope that we will be besties till we are grandmothers !! wahahha. looking forward to your wedding !! haha. didnt get to meet you today, mebbe some other time okie. since your having your holidays ald ! yippe ! do some catching up yeahh. results for the school posting will be out in 3 days. im very nervous. and i've got a bad feeling abt this. so long !
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY JIE JIE!!
truly,madly,deeply_'
3:50 PM
