Monday, December 29, 2008
it has been 1 week since Muncul's death. i cant quite put to words at how im coping right now. its hard. but im sure i'll get through it. i just miss her so much. she was really my 24/7 ever since i shifted into my current hse here in woodlands. back during the early years, we practically did everything together. where ever i go in the hse, she was right there with me. the memory i have of her on the very 1st day when she stepped into my life was the best day of my life. i couldnt be happier. i still remember being told by my brother that there was a cat in the balcony. i ditched my school bag and went to inspect. there she was... looking up at me, with her gorgeous eyes. as tiny as the size of my foot. i couldnt wait to cuddle her. i knew in an instant that the friendship that im gonna share with her will be the most unforgettable, fun-filled, personal and most importantly filled with the unconditional love she gives me. within 1 day, she was toilet trained by me and she also started to eat the dry food i bought. my brother was terrified of her! he was all the way on the couch. till now, i still cant figure out why! Muncul was just a tiny 4 mths old kitten back then. haha. she even slept with me on my bed that night. when my father came to my room to get her off my bed, i woke up straight away to stop him. from that day onwards, there wasnt a dull moment with her. not until when she went missing one day and only to find out that she fell from my 5th storey HDB flat to the ground floor. which she did, NUMEROUS times. she survived every single fall. her latest fall was on 30th november. where my friend Hafeez helped to save her as she was stuck in a rather difficult situation. Muncul was ald starting to struggle with health issues. she started losing alot of weight. it got from bad to worst on the 24th of november. i was outside at that point of time. when i got a call from my brother. Muncul was very weak and couldnt even bring herself to the toilet to pee. and ended up pee-ing on my brother's bed. that's when we decided to bring her to the vet for a check up. that's when the blood and urine test results hit me that she wasnt in good shape. her kidney wasnt doing so well. and she was really dehydrated. i tried my best to really look after her. i even skipped work. her last check-up with the doctor was on 16 december. there was a slight improvement from Muncul the night before. she started to walk ard the house. she even wanted to go out! the vet too agreed that she looks better. little did i know that she was gonna leave me forever 5 days later. it all happen at 4 am in the morning when my mum woke me up saying that Muncul is breathing funny in her room. so i came to check on Muncul. my mum told me in malay that "Muncul mcm da nazak" meaning that she's on the verge of death. she was just lying there on the cold floor breathing with her mouth open. i took her to my room in her basket. she was moving alot. like as if she was in pain. i just kept on holding her. to at least calm her down. i fall asleep a few times within 2 hours. after 2 hours, Muncul was moving too much in the basket. so i took her out. place her on the floor where she was still moving and shifting herself. she hit her head hard a few times on the hard floor too. i had to hold her to prevent her from hurting herself further. so all she could move was her hands and legs. after a few movements, she took her last breathe and died on my hands. i called out to her name and kissed her but she didnt move. i called my mum twice to tell her coz i couldnt find the voice the 1st time. with tears blurring my vision i was touching her to check over and over again if her heart was still beating and if i could do anything. but to no avail. my mum came immediately when she heard me. she too started crying and kissed her. i still remember every word my mum said "takpe eh Muncul, Muncul pun tengah sakit kan. deq... binatang pun mcm manusia, satu hari akan mati jugak. dahlah deq... adeq nangis pun tak guna." my face was buried in my pillow coz i couldnt control myself. i thought that im gonna suffer from asthma attack. it was hard processing it. my mum took a white cloth frm my cupboard and told me to wrap her up. when i carried her, it wasnt the same Muncul that i remember for the past decade. Muncul was always warm and soft but the very last time i held her, she was hard. after that my mother had to take over as i was crying even more. we placed her in her basket carefully. we had to wait for my father to get home from work to bury her. my mum left me to do some work. i continued crying til i fall asleep. during that short sleep, i dreamt of Muncul alive and well again. when i woke up, i was hoping and thinking that it was just a nightmare and that Muncul is still around. only to wake up seeing the white cloth in the sky blue basket. i couldnt stay in my room anymore. too many memories would crowd my mind, reminding me of Muncul. so i left my room and sat on the couch and stare into blank space until my father got home. and he took Muncul away. i didnt dare do anything in the house cause anything i do would only remind me of her. i would like to thank friends who tried comforting me. especially raidah. Muncul was more than a pet to me. she was a companion, a sister i never had and most importantly, she was my bestfriend. she was very much part of the family. whoever comes to visit my family, would request to see Muncul too. without fail. Muncul is now a closed chapter in my life. but one that i will never forget.
ps: Muncul, thank you for being a part of my life, for being there when im down, for making my life brighter with your energy and thank you for being my friend. i love you and miss you so much. farewell my friend.
July 1999 - 22 December 2008
truly,madly,deeply_'
11:46 PM
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
i cant do it.
truly,madly,deeply_'
11:23 PM
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
i've been wanting to post something. but i cant seem to get anything out. and i've change my skin ald. so enthu but then never update? wtf? soo here goes some current events. i will be bringing my cat for a re-check at the animal clinic tmr. appointment is at 10 am. can i wake up?? hmm. you know... its freaking scary hokay going there! got people with big dogs all. small ones are also scary lah! haha. they pee and pooped all over the place. okay. im exaggerating just a wee bit. just this small white dog. he pee-ed on the counter. there was dogs all over the place. and mind you the place was small. i was the only one with a cat. when my cat was brought in to be checked, i was left alone sitting right at the very corner of the place. but nonetheless, the experience going alone was cool. like a mother bring her sick child to see the doc. hoho. wtf am i talking abt?? goshh. forget i said that. aniways, i'll be back to work on thurs. excited to meet the peeps! and that special someone. *wink wink* not excited to work. i seriously got PHOBIA ald. i think im gonna be counting and counting my money. i dont care if im gonna take forever. im gonna COUNT. okay. thats it. so long.
ps: raidah! i blog abt you another day horr! I WILL.
truly,madly,deeply_'
1:57 AM
Sunday, December 14, 2008
ifahh <3 the new skin. weeee.
truly,madly,deeply_'
3:33 AM
Saturday, December 13, 2008
is there something on your mind? what do you try to hide? i can't seem, no i can't seem to get a hold on you. what more can i give? what more can i say? coz i can't make you love me anyway. i can see and i can feel you're thinking of her again.
truly,madly,deeply_'
1:25 AM
Saturday, December 06, 2008
waves of silver, waves of gold. are coming down to take me. hopes of heaven, fears of hell. what's the chance i'll make it? when all my other plans have failed. and i try so hard to fake it. i burn my bridges daily before any other cross. they tell me im nothing more than a tragedy. but you tell me "im bad news baby. im gonna break your heart. im not the man you want. the only girl i'll ever love, is trapped inside a song." you just sit and stare as if i'm from another land. in your comfortable chair, oh i wish i were another gerl. i'll set the world on fire. cause i could not satisfy you.
truly,madly,deeply_'
12:39 AM
Friday, December 05, 2008
mixed feelings. i dont know. i dont know. i seriously dont know. maybe. maybe not. looks like it will take SOME time for me to fall asleep today. so long.
truly,madly,deeply_'
1:44 AM
July 1999 - 22 December 2008